Should We Incentivize Our Kids?

The Importance of Rewards in Motivating Children​

As parents or teachers, we often fall into the trap of believing that children should naturally be intrinsically motivated. We might think they should do well in school because "it’s the right thing to do." However, this expectation can overlook the reality that even adults are often motivated by external incentives.

Think about it—many of us work every day not because we love it and want to do the “right” thing, but because we receive compensation. Would we still show up each morning, put in our hours, and do our best if we weren’t getting a paycheck at the end of the week? For most people, the answer is probably no. This isn’t to say that intrinsic motivation isn’t important, we can take pride in our work and do a great job, which will make the work more enjoyable, but having bills to pay and money at the end of the week are big motivators.

If we expect to work for some type of reward, why should we think that children, who are not nearly as mature, will always do things out of pure self-motivation? It’s important to realize that incentives can play a valuable, and legitimate role in helping kids be successful.

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The Benefits of Rewarding Children​

Using incentives for children, whether in academic performance, chores, or whatever, can be super helpful in encouraging good habits and buildin

building a work ethic. Reward, when given thoughtfully, can teach children that putting effort into whatever they have to do will lead to positive outcomes. They begin to understand that doing a good job comes with greater rewards while doing a poor job will come with fewer rewards, maybe no reward.

For instance, giving a reward for completing homework or chores on time can help kids connect hard work with real personal benefits. The type of incentive will vary, but the point is to help a child to begin to understand that hard work, done well brings personal reward.

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Teaching Delayed Gratification

Another lesson that can be taught using incentives is the idea of delayed gratification. As children grow, it’s good for them to learn that not all rewards are immediate. The idea of "waiting for a bigger reward" is an importantl life skill that can lead to greater success in adulthood.

If a child knows that if they get something done quickly, they’ll get a small reward, but, by taking more time, putting in more effort, and doing a better job, they’ll get larger reward, they will begin to develop patience, and a stronger work ethic, character traits that will serve them all their life.

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Real-Life Lessons​

Incentivizing children is not just about immediate rewards or getting them to behave. It's about teaching real life lessons that they’ll use forever. Learning that hard work brings reward is real life. As adults, we work for our salaries, we save money for needs and wants, we learn how to work through difficulties without quitting, and we invest time and effort in relationships and careers, all for long-term rewards.

By giving kids incentives that are predictable, we are helping them to prepare for life after mom and dad. Eventually, they will hopefully become internally motivated, and that’s amazing, but again, it is a good thing, a normal thing, to be rewarded for honest, hard, work.